Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Tip of the day: Remember to disconnect your phone from the Bluetooth speaker when you sneak upstairs to watch porn after the family Sunday dinner.

Modern first world problems hey?

[DaveB]

If you get an email from Hormel Foods. don;t open it. It's just spam.

[northernladuk]

Tip of the day: Remember to disconnect your phone from the Bluetooth speaker when you sneak upstairs to watch porn after the family Sunday dinner.

Worse than that if you've been watching it, even incognito mode and you've cloed the app, don't let it connect to your car Bluetooth system as that will pick up the last media file played. It might not play but the title can be interesting... apparently :

[vetran]

Worse than that if you've been watching it, even incognito mode and you've cloed the app, don't let it connect to your car Bluetooth system as that will pick up the last media file played. It might not play but the title can be interesting... apparently :

Dad, Dad what does "Do it like they do on the Discovery channel --- mean???"

[NotAllThere]

I bought my mate an elephant for his room. He said thanks. I said don't mention it.


And one from Milton Jones:
My daughter was born with jaundice. So there she is, small, round and yellow. We called her Melony.

[WTFH]

Why are they called customs sniffer dogs and not border colleagues?

[vetran]

The God of War spied a pretty maiden in the glen and came down and seduced her

After he was 'done' he stood up, flexed his biceps and proudly announced 'I'm THOR !!!'

The lithe maiden, still supine on the grass, gently lisped 'I'm thor too - but thoroughly thatithfied .

[NotAllThere]

I prefer this version.

The God of War spied a pretty maiden in the glen and came down and seduced her. After they had finished, he stood up, flexed his biceps and proudly announced 'I am mighty THOR !!!'

The lithe maiden, still supine on the grass, gently lisped 'Tho am I, but it wath fun, wathn't it".

And one suitable for great aunt Matilda.
THE GOD of thunder rode one day upon his milk-white filly.
"I'm Thor," he cried;
the horse replied,
"You've forgotten your thaddle, thilly."

[WTFH]

I started a business selling Japanese bonsai trees.


It's been so successful I've had to move to smaller premises

[WTFH]

My doctor says I need to increase my water intake so I'm adding an ice cube to my whiskey.