Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

What’s the difference between my dog and your wife?

My dog doesn’t always come when I call.

[xoggoth]

[QUOTE=Grasser73;2636745]Janet Street Porter goes into a bar and asks the barman "Can I get a large aperitif?"

Oh, larger pair of teeth! Took me a while to get that one.

[xoggoth]

A man walks in to his marital bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife, who is in bed, looks up as the man says “This is the pig I **** when you have a headache”.
The wife looks at him and says
“I think you’ll find that is not a pig, it is a sheep.”
the man replies “I think you’ll find I was talking to the sheep.”

[vetran]

What’s the difference between my dog and your wife?

My dog doesn’t always come when I call.

upvoted and stolen!

[WTFH]

upvoted and stolen!

Copyright: me.

I thought it up while out walking her the other day (The Dog, not your wife)

[vetran]

Copyright: me.

I thought it up while out walking her the other day (The Dog, not your wife)

That's alright I normally take your wife for a ride

[shaunbhoy]

My Dad always taught us to stand tall with your head held high like him. Lovely man, tragically short career as helicopter ground crew.

[WTFH]

I’m fat but I identify as thin. I’m trans-slender.

[moggy]

That's alright I normally take your wife for a ride

is it a sign of your age or his..? that you no longer use "mum" jokes for this..

[BrilloPad]

Inspired by this: -
https://www.contractoruk.com/forums/...ml#post2640459

What is green and commutes? An albelian grape.