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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    Tip of the day: Remember to disconnect your phone from the Bluetooth speaker when you sneak upstairs to watch porn after the family Sunday dinner.

    Modern first world problems hey?
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      If you get an email from Hormel Foods. don;t open it. It's just spam.
      "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

      Comment


        Originally posted by WTFH View Post
        Tip of the day: Remember to disconnect your phone from the Bluetooth speaker when you sneak upstairs to watch porn after the family Sunday dinner.
        Worse than that if you've been watching it, even incognito mode and you've cloed the app, don't let it connect to your car Bluetooth system as that will pick up the last media file played. It might not play but the title can be interesting... apparently :
        'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

        Comment


          Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
          Worse than that if you've been watching it, even incognito mode and you've cloed the app, don't let it connect to your car Bluetooth system as that will pick up the last media file played. It might not play but the title can be interesting... apparently :

          Dad, Dad what does "Do it like they do on the Discovery channel --- mean???"


          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I bought my mate an elephant for his room. He said thanks. I said don't mention it.


            And one from Milton Jones:
            My daughter was born with jaundice. So there she is, small, round and yellow. We called her Melony.
            Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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              Why are they called customs sniffer dogs and not border colleagues?
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

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                The God of War spied a pretty maiden in the glen and came down and seduced her

                After he was 'done' he stood up, flexed his biceps and proudly announced 'I'm THOR !!!'

                The lithe maiden, still supine on the grass, gently lisped 'I'm thor too - but thoroughly thatithfied .
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I prefer this version.

                  The God of War spied a pretty maiden in the glen and came down and seduced her. After they had finished, he stood up, flexed his biceps and proudly announced 'I am mighty THOR !!!'

                  The lithe maiden, still supine on the grass, gently lisped 'Tho am I, but it wath fun, wathn't it".


                  And one suitable for great aunt Matilda.
                  THE GOD of thunder rode one day upon his milk-white filly.
                  "I'm Thor," he cried;
                  the horse replied,
                  "You've forgotten your thaddle, thilly."
                  Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                  Comment


                    I started a business selling Japanese bonsai trees.


                    It's been so successful I've had to move to smaller premises
                    {emotionless greeting}

                    Three Word Slogan

                    Comment


                      My doctor says I need to increase my water intake so I'm adding an ice cube to my whiskey.
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

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