Reply to: Please put more jokes here

[sadkingbilly]

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.
the candle, it was burning bright..........
.. he burned his bolloks and it serves him right!

[WTFH]

Not buying Evian water, I'm not stupid, it's naive backwards.
I buy the slightly cheaper Tnucyllis instead, I think it's Greek.

[ladymuck]

[NotAllThere]

Somebody born in ‘33 was 45 in ‘78.

That's gotta be some sort of record.

[WTFH]

just tried to use 'beefstew' as a password, and failed.
apparently it's not stroganoff.

KUATB!

[sadkingbilly]

just tried to use 'beefstew' as a password, and failed.
apparently it's not stroganoff.

[ladymuck]

[WTFH]

The guy who invented the Ferris wheel never met the guy who invented the merry-go-round.


They travelled in different circles.

[WTFH]

I’ve just found out I’m colourblind.
The news came completely out of the purple

[NotAllThere]

As part of their DEI, Sainsbury are banning straight white bread.

(Just listening to Skewer on BBC sounds).

[sadkingbilly]

[WTFH]

"I could do that" - Your Roomba watching the curling at the Olympics.

[sadkingbilly]

I'm busy following a recipe and it says "chill in the fridge for an hour."
I've got a book, some snacks and a pint but it's very cramped in here.

[sadkingbilly]

A man, identifying as a woman, followed a teenaged girl into the toilet.
her father, identifying as the tooth fairy, followed him and left him with no teeth.

[WTFH]

OK, plan B is finally coming to fruition, I can officially announce that I'm setting up my own ballet company.
We're starting off small, and our fist production is going to be a low budget version of Swan Lake. We're calling it Toilet Duck.