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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • vetran
    replied
    Congratulations to Boris Johnson

    Who has just finished opening his Fathers Day cards.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    If Liam Neeson played Aquaman

    "I've got a particular set of gills"

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I once went out with a Welsh girl who had 36DDs.

    What a totally unpronounceable surname that was.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My wife said to me "Would you like anal sex with a hooker"

    I could not believe what I was hearing, "Of course I would" I replied.

    My arse still hurts, that's the last time a rugby player ever gets in my house.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    In a library:

    "I'm looking for a book on sexual innuendo."

    "It'll be in soon."

    "Yes, that's the one."

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Norwich have now started selling Happy Fatherbrother Day cards due to popular demand.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I held up by TSA because I packed a deck of fortune telling cards

    They must have thought I was a taroist

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Why was the programmer's code incomprehensible?


    No comment.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    As a kid, did you ever knock on people's doors and run away before they could answer?



    Well, guess what? UPS is hiring!

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Marcus Rashford is terrible against a packed defence.


    He is great with a packed lunch though.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Yesterday I was masturbating about a mad cow.

    Think I may have Creutzfeldt Jackoff Disease

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My missus was so upset with the English performance she refused to have sex.

    So I told her to lie back and think of Scotland.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Why was the stone golem mad at her husband?

    Because he was always taking her for granite.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Life is too short for my book of five letter words.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Another blow for The Labour Party as ex speaker and full time hobbit John Bercow defects TO them.

    Leave a comment:

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