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Please put more jokes here

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    AVOID the annoyance of having to wait for energy-saving lightbulbs to warm up by simply leaving them switched on all the time.
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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      Son: Did you know in some countries you don't even know your wife until you get married?
      Me: It's like that everywhere, mate.
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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        I started talking a really good looking girl at the bar.

        Holding my stomach in I said, "I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie."

        She said, "Really, What's the scariest thing you've done?"

        I said, "Well, last night I ordered a chicken kebab from a takeaway with a zero hygiene rating."
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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          A nun went to see Mother Superior and said, "Mother Superior, my bra's bust."
          Mother Superior replied, "Daughter of the church, remember where you are."
          She said, "Ok then, Mother Superior, my cup runneth over."
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            My wife walked in on me wearing her clothes this morning... Neither of us were that surprised...

            Why wouldn't she be wearing her clothes.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I heard something on the radio today that made me chuckle... Prince Phillip is standing down from public duties at age 95. He intends to take up painting water colours..... does that make him the artist formally known as Prince.....?
              “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

              Comment


                Nappies and politicians should be changed regularly, both for the same reason.
                “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                Comment


                  Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
                  I heard something on the radio today that made me chuckle... Prince Phillip is standing down from public duties at age 95. He intends to take up painting water colours..... does that make him the artist formally known as Prince.....?

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
                    I heard something on the radio today that made me chuckle... Prince Phillip is standing down from public duties at age 95. He intends to take up painting water colours..... does that make him the artist formally known as Prince.....?
                    No, because he will still be a Prince, and either way he was Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark before he got married
                    Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                    I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                    I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                    Comment


                      Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black have tied the knot

                      What is the point in that, there is no way that either of them could get pregnant
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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