Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Say what you will about grammar nazis

At least they aren't anti-semantic.

[vetran]

Shania Twain has had a baby.

She going to call it Choo Choo.

[vetran]

words to live by!

I've reset my "life goals" to things I've already accomplished,

so everyday now, I"m overachieving ...It's all about perspective.

[vetran]

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hee hee hee! 'Screw'!

[vetran]

What’s worse than waking up with an empty wallet and a sore head?
Waking up with a full wallet and a sore ass.

[vetran]

Single door to buffet, double doors to salad bar.
Obesity solved!!

[vetran]

What do you call an Irish woman with 2 c*nts?

Jedward's mum.

[vetran]

It's true when they say certain types of music can take you to another place.

I was sitting in the pub last night and a One Direction song was playing on the jukebox, so I went to another pub.

[vetran]

Anyone remember the nineties, when you'd have to clean your mouse balls?

I'm glad I don't have pets any more.

[vetran]

Its TPD

"How depressing, it's so cold and grey," said the wife.

"Well, it is January," I replied... then I noticed the dead elephant lying in our front room.