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Please put more jokes here

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    Say what you will about grammar nazis

    At least they aren't anti-semantic.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Shania Twain has had a baby.

      She going to call it Choo Choo.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        words to live by!

        I've reset my "life goals" to things I've already accomplished,

        so everyday now, I"m overachieving ...It's all about perspective.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

          Hee hee hee! 'Screw'!
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            What’s worse than waking up with an empty wallet and a sore head?
            Waking up with a full wallet and a sore ass.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Single door to buffet, double doors to salad bar.
              Obesity solved!!
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                What do you call an Irish woman with 2 c*nts?

                Jedward's mum.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  It's true when they say certain types of music can take you to another place.

                  I was sitting in the pub last night and a One Direction song was playing on the jukebox, so I went to another pub.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Anyone remember the nineties, when you'd have to clean your mouse balls?

                    I'm glad I don't have pets any more.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Its TPD

                      "How depressing, it's so cold and grey," said the wife.

                      "Well, it is January," I replied... then I noticed the dead elephant lying in our front room.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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