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Please put more jokes here

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    My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card.


    He's a man after my own heart
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      Why is it old people say "there's no place like home", yet when you put them in oneā€¦
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        I've been happily married for two years...




        ...out of a total of 10
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          Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed, which is mad because those places are really well lit
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            I often confuse Americans and Canadians.






            ...By using long words
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              Don't you hate it when people assume you're rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?
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                "Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy?" I hear you ask
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                  I spotted a Marmite van on the M4. It was heading yeastbound
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                    Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer
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                      I'll tell you what's unnatural in the eyes of God... Contact lenses
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