Please put more jokes here

[LondonManc]

Two interesting facts:

1/ My cock is the same length as 2 Argos pens

2/ I'm now banned from my local Argos

[SimonMac]

$grass.colours= ['#00FF00', '#00FF00']; $grass.location = '127.0.0.1'; #songsincode

[LondonManc]

"See you mum, I'm off out!"
"Not dressed in that miniskirt you're not"
"Awww, why not mum?"
"I can see your bollocks, David."

[greenlake]

Lady Penelope: "Parker, take off my coat."
Parker: "Yes, M'lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, take off my shoes."
Parker: "Yes, M'lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, take off my dress."
Parker: "Yes, M'lady."
Lady Penelope: "Parker, take off my underwear."
Parker: "Yes, M'lady."
Lady Penelope: "And Parker..."
Parker: "Yes, M'lady?"
Lady Penelope: "Don't ever let me catch you wearing my clothes again."
Parker: "Yes, M'lady."

[vetran]

one for atw

The only way you lot will get laid is if you crawled in a chicken and waited

[vetran]

Man with no arms enters a national masturbation competition.

Poor sod didn"t come anywhere.

[vetran]

Twenty three people have been found glued to the ceiling and walls of a train station in Dublin.Police believe Irish Muslims have set off the first NO MORE NAILS bomb.

[vetran]

Scientists have crossed an albino chicken with an onion,
and finally created a white cock
that brings tears to a woman's eyes.

[vetran]

Do twins ever realise that one of them was unplanned?

[vetran]

For NLYUK

I came out a pub in Liverpool the other night and was approached by a hooker.
Fancy a shag she asked.
I only have a fiver, I said.
She replied, it's okay, I have change.