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    "Murray's out" shouted my wife as I walked in the door

    "Scottish and now gay, he's not had the best of luck has he" I replied
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I told my mate, "Saw some of the living dead today."

      "You mean you watched a film." He asserted.

      "No, I went through Worthing." I replied.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        After seeing that old bloke coming out of court this week guilty of those sex assault charges, I've decided to boycott KFC from now on.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Whenever anyone asks me what I do for a living I tell them I'm a gynecologist.

          I'm really a cloakroom assistant in the Houses of Parliament but it's the same thing, I spend all day looking at c**ts.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Blimey, the way things are going at the moment - the BBC won't have any footage left of the 60s, 70s or 80s.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              One way or another I'm going to have to stop quoting Blondie lyrics.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                A woman has given birth outside the Primark in Birmingham, with staff helping deliver the child and promptly putting it to work.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Called a plumber out the other day. He was Chinese.

                  Called a builder, he was also Chinese.

                  Called an electrician out. He was Chinese as well !

                  Bloody Yellow Pages
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I tried to buy a medieval punishment device recently, but I had no luck.

                    Everywhere was out of stocks.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      The Williams sisters had to forfeit their double match today, as Serena wasn't feeling too well.

                      I'm guessing men's problems.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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