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Please put more jokes here

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    One for the ladies

    It's a nightmare when my p.eriod comes early
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      A little boy was attending his first wedding.
      After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded.
      His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
      "How do you know that?"
      "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Some of my friends secretly downloaded an EXE file on my laptop.

        It was a setup.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          The wife said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."
          Mexico was on, we had burritos.
          Japan was on, we had sushi.
          USA was on, we had burgers.
          Italy was on, we had pizza.

          Tuesday is England, so we're going out.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            two games, no cup
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Michael Schumacher has spoken out about global warming, in a statement he said "Things are getting pretty bad, just yesterday I was skiing and when I woke up this morning it was summer"
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Stephen Hawking masturbating - Now there's a stroke of genius
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I'm getting sick of taking my fat wife furniture shopping.


                  Four times now we've been to Ikea, and we've still not found a chaise wide.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    A man from Cardiff has joined ISIS.

                    This means there are now three types of Muslim: Sunni, Shia, and Sheep.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      What's got more brains than JFK?

                      Jackie Kennedy's lap
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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