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Please put more jokes here

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    My Scouse mate said, "I've found a brilliant new dating site."

    "What's it called?"

    "Ancestry.com"
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I got pulled over by the police with my girlfriend chopped up in the boot.


      Anyway, I'm in court next week charged with impersonating a police officer.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Jesus wasn't a socialist.

        He actually fed people.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Gibson guitars are marketing to post-op trannies.


          The new “Less Balls” will be available in standard, studio and custom models, all with cutaway.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            If ignorance is bliss,

            Why are all the remoaners so unhappy?
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Tried to call Anorexics Anonymous today but they were out at Lunch
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I keep stealing Telecasters and Stratocasters.

                I'm a repeat off fender.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine.

                  She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Fender have introduced a new complimentary guitar, the Flattercaster is available now
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Captain Tom's family have issued a 101st birthday charity challenge to the nation.

                      I'm sorry, but I'm just not going to lose that much weight, no matter how many times I walk round the garden.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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