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Please put more jokes here

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    Darmy and aTw are sat in the pub eating sandwiches.



    The landlord walks. over "You can't eat your own food in here". So they swap sandwiches
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I've suddenly started coughing and sneezing. My sense of smell and taste is ok, but I can't feel my cock.

      I think it's Dong Covid.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Six days after announcing a ban on pornographic content, OnlyFans has done a U-turn, as the move was considered 'economic suicide' for the site.

        I reckon they'd probably make even more cash if they banned non-pornographic content, and renamed the site OnlyFannies.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I've just been caught shoplifting.

          I was unaware tying 50 helium balloons on the roof of a Tesco was illegal.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            What do you call a nonce with no legs?


            A creepy crawly.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Interesting fact:
              Giraffes didn't exist until Chuck Norris punched a horse.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Two members of '90s girl band Vanilla are apparently lactose intolerant.



                No whey, no whey!
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Last night, Mick told Keith that Charlie won't be part of the Stones' tours anymore.



                  Keith was devastated at first, then asked "will vodka and smack still be allowed?"
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Would the last person leaving Kabul airport turn off enlightenment.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      McDonald's are having great problems getting milkshake to their restaurants.

                      Is it any wonder?. I can't even get it up the flaming straw.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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