Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Darmy and aTw are sat in the pub eating sandwiches.



The landlord walks. over "You can't eat your own food in here". So they swap sandwiches

[vetran]

I've suddenly started coughing and sneezing. My sense of smell and taste is ok, but I can't feel my cock.

I think it's Dong Covid.

[vetran]

Six days after announcing a ban on pornographic content, OnlyFans has done a U-turn, as the move was considered 'economic suicide' for the site.

I reckon they'd probably make even more cash if they banned non-pornographic content, and renamed the site OnlyFannies.

[vetran]

I've just been caught shoplifting.

I was unaware tying 50 helium balloons on the roof of a Tesco was illegal.

[vetran]

What do you call a nonce with no legs?


A creepy crawly.

[vetran]

Interesting fact:
Giraffes didn't exist until Chuck Norris punched a horse.

[vetran]

Two members of '90s girl band Vanilla are apparently lactose intolerant.



No whey, no whey!

[vetran]

Last night, Mick told Keith that Charlie won't be part of the Stones' tours anymore.



Keith was devastated at first, then asked "will vodka and smack still be allowed?"

[vetran]

Would the last person leaving Kabul airport turn off enlightenment.

[vetran]

McDonald's are having great problems getting milkshake to their restaurants.

Is it any wonder?. I can't even get it up the flaming straw.