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Please put more jokes here

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    #9231
    After slipping out for a quick fag break today, I looked up at the clear, blue sky and witnessed two planes colliding.

    I guess I'm just not cut out to be an air traffic controller.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment

      #9232
      I was wondering why my wife was throwing Stephen King books at me.....
      Then It hit me.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment

        #9233
        I was at a fancy dress party recently, and pulled a blonde dressed as a pheasant.

        She was fair game.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment

          #9234
          Couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

          I’m now sitting in A&E waiting to see a cardyologist.
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

          Comment

            #9235
            What's the difference between warty's jokes and his penis?

            No one laughs at his jokes
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment

              #9236
              Why is it spelled 'camouflage' and not
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment

                #9237
                A man has been admitted to hospital with six plastic horses stuck up his bum.


                Hi condition is described as stable.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                  #9238
                  I'm not surprised they changed the word 'fellatio' to 'blowjob'.

                  It's a bit of a mouthful.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment

                    #9239
                    Me: You know what? I'm sick of all this bulltulip!
                    Mate: Don't blame me, you chose to work as a farmer!
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment

                      #9240
                      Anyone interested in going the FA Cup final in a helicopter?
                      I'm looking for 2 people to join us. Leave Saturday from Exeter Airport, fly to London, have breakfast, watch the match then fly home.

                      DM if interested, pref someone with a helicopter and tickets, otherwise we can't go
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

                      Comment

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