Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

The Brazilian army have apparently been supplied with 35,000 viagra tablets.


This must make them one of the hardest armies in the world.

[vetran]

GB News claim that Putin would benefit if Johnson resigned.

I disagree. The Conservative Party has a range of ready replacements, who are equally as tulip.

[vetran]

When Lord Nelson died he was 5 feet tall. His statue in London is 15 feet tall.


That's Horatio of 3:1.

[vetran]

I can't believe I got discharged from the Navy, all because I was 2 seconds late during a 21 gun salute.
That's bang out of order.

[vetran]

Alpacin Caffeine shampoo - 'German engineering for your hair!'

Anybody else concerned about trusting German shower products?

[vetran]

My Aunt is 75% Bolivian

Olivia

[vetran]

Come in number 9 your time is up.
Boss, we’ve only got 8 boats.
No 6 are you in trouble?

[vetran]

Nicola Sturgeon has received a warning from police, after being pictured without a face mask in public last weekend.

I know she's no oil painting, but surely that's a bit harsh.

[vetran]

one for PC

I walked my pet sheep to the end of the street and was given a ticket for making a ewe turn.

[vetran]

I've started dating a girl who's doing a master's degree in literature.

She asked me the other night what I thought about Poe.

I told her I was a big fan of his early work, but I must say my favourite is now Tinky Winky.