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Please put more jokes here

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    Ladies-If a chap remembers your eye colour after your first date, there's a very big chance you have small tits....
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Henry VIII had many wives.

      He liked to chop and change.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I’d say me and my wife have sex roughly once a week... and gently 3 or 4 times
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

        Comment


          Jay-Z will always live in the shadow of his brother A, author of the best-selling ‘London’.
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

          Comment


            I walked passed the YMCA yesterday, and there was a teenage boy sat outside stroking some feathers...



            I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down...”
            {emotionless greeting}

            Three Word Slogan

            Comment


              Why are the Pyramids in Egypt?

              Because they're too heavy to carry to a British museum.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Since it's Billy Connolly's birthday, here's one of his:
                “A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said how can you tell them apart, he said ‘her brother’s got a moustache!’”
                {emotionless greeting}

                Three Word Slogan

                Comment


                  -I see there's gap on your CV - four years? What were you doing?
                  -I was in Yale
                  -Really? Very impressive, you're hired
                  -Great, I really need a Yob.
                  Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                  Comment


                    With their price rises, this winter the power companies will be screwing more old ladies than Wayne Rooney.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      When I was a baby, my parents used to bath me in cheap Australian lager.

                      It wasn't until I was 18 that I realised I'd been Fostered.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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