Please put more jokes here

[NotAllThere]

My gran needs eye surgery after watching the world cup...

She has Qataracts.

I've heard the Nile has those.

[vetran]

What's the difference between a politician and a paedophile?

Paedophiles actually care about the children.

[vetran]

Jesus would now like to be referred to as Thee and Thy.

[vetran]

What's got four legs and an arm? A very happy pit bull...

[WTFH]

I passed all of my exams except Greek History.


That’s always been my Socrates heel.

[vetran]

It's about time we put doctor's receptionists at the border controls.

Let's see how many illegals get past them!

[vetran]

I must be getting old.

I'm now watching Countdown for more than just Rachel Riley.

[vetran]

A woman steps out of the shower and says "Darling, I've shaved myself 'Down there', you know what that means,don't you?"
The chap sighed and replied "Yep, the ******* drains clogged again..."

[vetran]

My wife just shouted at me as i was urinating under the Christmas tree,
"what the feck do you think you're doing?" She screamed


I replied, "I'm taking a piss at present"

[vetran]

When I see a couples names carved onto a tree I don't think it's cute I think who the **** takes a knife on a date.