Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

"Hey! You! Get off my cloud!"

"Piss off Charlie, I was here first" - Brian Jones

[vetran]

What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A literalist takes things literally.
A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

[vetran]

Panto

Why does a stork stand with one leg off the ground?

Because if it tried standing with both legs off the ground, it would fall over.

[vetran]

My grandad owned a car dealership, but because of his experiences in the war he always refused to stock German cars.

He'll go down in history as the man who rejected the Beetle's.

[vetran]

I was fired from my last job after I took three months off due to a slipped disc.

The manager of the club said I wasn't really cut out to be a DJ.

[NotAllThere]

I've suddenly started coughing and sneezing. My sense of smell and taste is ok, but I can't feel my cock.

I think it's Dong Covid.

Nah, your arms have fallen off.

[vetran]

Kenny Rogers amphibious pet just escaped from the swimming pool.



You picked a fine time to leave me loose seal.

[vetran]

For aTwit...

I was in a car crash earlier I ended up crashing into a wall.


You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel

[vetran]

Pen Farthing, the vet fears the Taliban will now allow him to leave Afghanistan with his hundred or so animals.


You can't really blame the Taliban for keeping someone who wanted to leave and take their brothel with them can you?

[vetran]

I have CDO.

It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be.