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Please put more jokes here

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    "Hey! You! Get off my cloud!"

    "Piss off Charlie, I was here first" - Brian Jones
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
      A literalist takes things literally.
      A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Panto

        Why does a stork stand with one leg off the ground?

        Because if it tried standing with both legs off the ground, it would fall over.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          My grandad owned a car dealership, but because of his experiences in the war he always refused to stock German cars.

          He'll go down in history as the man who rejected the Beetle's.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I was fired from my last job after I took three months off due to a slipped disc.

            The manager of the club said I wasn't really cut out to be a DJ.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Originally posted by vetran View Post
              I've suddenly started coughing and sneezing. My sense of smell and taste is ok, but I can't feel my cock.

              I think it's Dong Covid.
              Nah, your arms have fallen off.
              Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

              Comment


                Kenny Rogers amphibious pet just escaped from the swimming pool.



                You picked a fine time to leave me loose seal.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  For aTwit...

                  I was in a car crash earlier I ended up crashing into a wall.


                  You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Pen Farthing, the vet fears the Taliban will now allow him to leave Afghanistan with his hundred or so animals.


                    You can't really blame the Taliban for keeping someone who wanted to leave and take their brothel with them can you?
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I have CDO.

                      It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order, as they should be.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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