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Please put more jokes here

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    Clinical geneticist: There's something wrong with your DNA. It seems it's been reversed.
    Patient: And?
    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

    Comment


      A recent study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychotic traits.

      And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims......
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        The first paramedic on the scene following Katie Price's accident shouted "where are you bleeding from?"


        she replied "I'm from bleeding Essex of course"
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          My daughter texted me, "Dad - which is better, to pass or to fail?"

          I replied, "To pass, of course."

          She texted back, "Well, you'll be proud of me then. I've just passed my pregnancy test."
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Coming soon to a cinema near you...

            UK Trek 3...The Search for Fuel.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              How do mermaids relax?
              Seaweed
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                During the 1665 plague, Isaac Newton worked from home and developed his theories on gravity, calculus and optics.


                During COVID, I discovered vodka.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  My wife says she's leaving me because of my dyslexia.

                  I told her to shoot the dog on the way out.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by vetran View Post
                    A recent study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychotic traits.

                    And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims......
                    This isn't a joke, it's fact

                    (I am a black coffee drinker)

                    Comment


                      Stallone "I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi."

                      VanDamne "I'll be Mozart."

                      Schwarzenegger "Stop it guys, I'm not saying it."
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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