Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

R Kelly has been put in a prison with a closed in roof amid fears that he could escape.

[vetran]

I strolled past a queue of cars with my petrol lawnmower to fill it up and was accused of cutting in line.

[Kingsnorth]

Is working from over yet...

[vetran]

Andy McNabb has a new book about recycling.

Bravo Two Carbon Zero

[vetran]

I queued for petrol last night, and when I got to the pump, I became very emotional and started to fill up.

[vetran]

I agree with Keir Starmer that female genitalia doesn't only relate to women.

For example, he is a man, and he is a c**t.

[vetran]

I came into some money and bought a petrol tanker and drove it to the petrol station. The massive queues of drivers were so friendly and let me go to the front of the queue.

Such a shame there was no petrol left after Id finished filling it up.

[vetran]

If my wife gave me £1 every time she said she was cold, I could pay the gas bill.

[vetran]

The political situation in this country is dire, incompetent government, opposition missing in action. There have been several polls lately to determine the public attitude to the government.
Gallup (not the weed killer) summarised them all with the following statement.

Voters tell Tories 'you are utter tulipe, next time we're voting for....err.....um....oh tulip !'

[vetran]

For MF

During the summer, I'm a flip flop man.

Well, that's the sound my moobs make as I walk.