• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Talk about bad luck just caught Covid off a fish finger.

    I just failed a Mackeral flow test.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      Fitness instructor, 34, showers her boyfriend, 24, with affection in public so that strangers don't think she's his mother.

      Strangely, this strategy failed in Norfolk.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        I was thinking of buying a motorhome. I went to the local dealers and he had two, one of them had pink wheels, fake lashes on the headlamps and lacy curtains. I said "what the heck is that?"
        He said "that's my camper van"
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          BBC news announced 'Twindemic' is both flu viruses wiping out our loved ones this winter.
          Phew what a relief I thought Jedward were announcing a comeback.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            Feminists hate controlling men.

            Yet they love controlling men.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Tyson Fury remains unbeaten, which isn't something any of his exes can say...
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                So the prince of arabia sent someone to England to purchase him a new castle.....whoops!
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Me: I went to see the new Bond film

                  her: Was there a big queue?

                  Me: not, the same skinny guy who's done it for the last few.
                  {emotionless greeting}

                  Three Word Slogan

                  Comment


                    Irony…

                    China has shut 60 coal power plants.

                    Because of extreme flash flooding.

                    Caused by Climate Change.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Lambs were £60 now £30

                      That's sheep at half the price.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X