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Please put more jokes here

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    #8881
    Talk about bad luck just caught Covid off a fish finger.

    I just failed a Mackeral flow test.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment

      #8882
      Fitness instructor, 34, showers her boyfriend, 24, with affection in public so that strangers don't think she's his mother.

      Strangely, this strategy failed in Norfolk.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment

        #8883
        I was thinking of buying a motorhome. I went to the local dealers and he had two, one of them had pink wheels, fake lashes on the headlamps and lacy curtains. I said "what the heck is that?"
        He said "that's my camper van"
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment

          #8884
          BBC news announced 'Twindemic' is both flu viruses wiping out our loved ones this winter.
          Phew what a relief I thought Jedward were announcing a comeback.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment

            #8885
            Feminists hate controlling men.

            Yet they love controlling men.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment

              #8886
              Tyson Fury remains unbeaten, which isn't something any of his exes can say...
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment

                #8887
                So the prince of arabia sent someone to England to purchase him a new castle.....whoops!
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                  #8888
                  Me: I went to see the new Bond film

                  her: Was there a big queue?

                  Me: not, the same skinny guy who's done it for the last few.
                  {emotionless greeting}

                  Three Word Slogan

                  Comment

                    #8889
                    Irony…

                    China has shut 60 coal power plants.

                    Because of extreme flash flooding.

                    Caused by Climate Change.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment

                      #8890
                      Lambs were £60 now £30

                      That's sheep at half the price.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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