Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

So Tinder is trying to encourage organ donation.

I've always used tinder to put one of my organs into other random women because I'm really nice like that.

[vetran]

For the first time a woman has been voted onto a council in Saudi Arabia.

The leader of the council said "Allah be praised we finally have someone to make a cup of tea at council meetings"

[vetran]

A blonde says to her friend, "I'm like, sooo jealous of you! How do you manage to keep your figure after having four kids?"

"It's not difficult really," he replies.

[vetran]

They say there's someone out there for everyone.

Yeah, Katie Price.

[vetran]

I bought one of those sexy Santa outfits to get my wife in the mood for festive sex.

She said I looked fat in it.

[vetran]

Where do sheep sit in the pub?

On a baa stool.

[vetran]

I've decided to take up rowing.

"We're going to put you with the coxless team" I was told.

"Well I've been circumcised, does that count?"





Stevie Wonder's son claims in a recent interview that he couldn't see himself as a musician.

Like father, like son.




I was shocked to hear that former Rangers player Arnold Peralta had been shot dead.

I thought he would have been safer in Honduras than in Glasgow.




"Bloody Mary?"

"tulip, is my string showing?"



Kim Jong-un claims to possess an H-bomb.

So just a conventional bomb with a Steps CD gaffer taped to it then?




What kind of a world do we live in where Justin Bieber is allowed to court a 17 year old girl openly over the internet, but when I secretly do that, I get the police asking questions...?



Donald Trump: I excelled at sports.

Which might be true. He shows signs of having suffered quite a few concussions.

Joke added 3 days ago by SomeBozo in Racism > American (+ 2 more)



In showbiz news, Caitlyn Jenner and Kellie Maloney are to star in the new X-Men movie.



I was in Halford's earlier and decided to buy one of those helmet cameras.

I got some really excellent footage!


I had no idea how large my girlfriend's tonsils were!

[TheFaQQer]

Since it's the 245th anniversary of his baptism today

What was Beethoven's favourite fruit?


A ba-na-na-na

Celebrating Ludwig van Beethoven's 245th Year

[SimonMac]

I've decided to take up rowing.

"We're going to put you with the coxless team" I was told.

"Well I've been circumcised, does that count?"





Stevie Wonder's son claims in a recent interview that he couldn't see himself as a musician.

Like father, like son.




I was shocked to hear that former Rangers player Arnold Peralta had been shot dead.

I thought he would have been safer in Honduras than in Glasgow.




"Bloody Mary?"

"tulip, is my string showing?"



Kim Jong-un claims to possess an H-bomb.

So just a conventional bomb with a Steps CD gaffer taped to it then?




What kind of a world do we live in where Justin Bieber is allowed to court a 17 year old girl openly over the internet, but when I secretly do that, I get the police asking questions...?



Donald Trump: I excelled at sports.

Which might be true. He shows signs of having suffered quite a few concussions.

Joke added 3 days ago by SomeBozo in Racism > American (+ 2 more)



In showbiz news, Caitlyn Jenner and Kellie Maloney are to star in the new X-Men movie.



I was in Halford's earlier and decided to buy one of those helmet cameras.

I got some really excellent footage!


I had no idea how large my girlfriend's tonsils were!

Isn't it easier to just post a link to Sickopedia?

[vetran]

Isn't it easier to just post a link to Sickopedia?

never hidden it and if you look back you will find many mentions of Sickopedia I pick the ones that mak me alugh out loud and aren't too sick.
For MF



My family think I have an important job.
It's probably because I tell them I'm responsible for issuing the circulars at work.
"Burger flipper" wouldn't sound as good