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Please put more jokes here

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    So Tinder is trying to encourage organ donation.

    I've always used tinder to put one of my organs into other random women because I'm really nice like that.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      For the first time a woman has been voted onto a council in Saudi Arabia.

      The leader of the council said "Allah be praised we finally have someone to make a cup of tea at council meetings"
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        A blonde says to her friend, "I'm like, sooo jealous of you! How do you manage to keep your figure after having four kids?"

        "It's not difficult really," he replies.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          They say there's someone out there for everyone.

          Yeah, Katie Price.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I bought one of those sexy Santa outfits to get my wife in the mood for festive sex.

            She said I looked fat in it.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Where do sheep sit in the pub?

              On a baa stool.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I've decided to take up rowing.

                "We're going to put you with the coxless team" I was told.

                "Well I've been circumcised, does that count?"





                Stevie Wonder's son claims in a recent interview that he couldn't see himself as a musician.

                Like father, like son.




                I was shocked to hear that former Rangers player Arnold Peralta had been shot dead.

                I thought he would have been safer in Honduras than in Glasgow.




                "Bloody Mary?"

                "tulip, is my string showing?"



                Kim Jong-un claims to possess an H-bomb.

                So just a conventional bomb with a Steps CD gaffer taped to it then?




                What kind of a world do we live in where Justin Bieber is allowed to court a 17 year old girl openly over the internet, but when I secretly do that, I get the police asking questions...?



                Donald Trump: I excelled at sports.

                Which might be true. He shows signs of having suffered quite a few concussions.

                Joke added 3 days ago by SomeBozo in Racism > American (+ 2 more)



                In showbiz news, Caitlyn Jenner and Kellie Maloney are to star in the new X-Men movie.



                I was in Halford's earlier and decided to buy one of those helmet cameras.

                I got some really excellent footage!


                I had no idea how large my girlfriend's tonsils were!
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Since it's the 245th anniversary of his baptism today

                  What was Beethoven's favourite fruit?


                  A ba-na-na-na

                  Celebrating Ludwig van Beethoven's 245th Year
                  Best Forum Advisor 2014
                  Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
                  Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by vetran View Post
                    I've decided to take up rowing.

                    "We're going to put you with the coxless team" I was told.

                    "Well I've been circumcised, does that count?"





                    Stevie Wonder's son claims in a recent interview that he couldn't see himself as a musician.

                    Like father, like son.




                    I was shocked to hear that former Rangers player Arnold Peralta had been shot dead.

                    I thought he would have been safer in Honduras than in Glasgow.




                    "Bloody Mary?"

                    "tulip, is my string showing?"



                    Kim Jong-un claims to possess an H-bomb.

                    So just a conventional bomb with a Steps CD gaffer taped to it then?




                    What kind of a world do we live in where Justin Bieber is allowed to court a 17 year old girl openly over the internet, but when I secretly do that, I get the police asking questions...?



                    Donald Trump: I excelled at sports.

                    Which might be true. He shows signs of having suffered quite a few concussions.

                    Joke added 3 days ago by SomeBozo in Racism > American (+ 2 more)



                    In showbiz news, Caitlyn Jenner and Kellie Maloney are to star in the new X-Men movie.



                    I was in Halford's earlier and decided to buy one of those helmet cameras.

                    I got some really excellent footage!


                    I had no idea how large my girlfriend's tonsils were!
                    Isn't it easier to just post a link to Sickopedia?
                    Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                    I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                    I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by SimonMac View Post
                      Isn't it easier to just post a link to Sickopedia?
                      never hidden it and if you look back you will find many mentions of Sickopedia I pick the ones that mak me alugh out loud and aren't too sick.
                      For MF



                      My family think I have an important job.
                      It's probably because I tell them I'm responsible for issuing the circulars at work.
                      "Burger flipper" wouldn't sound as good
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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