Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

Bigamy: Having one wife too many


Monogamy: See bigamy

[WTFH]

There are two types of people in this world: Those who you want to have a drink with and those who make you want a drink.

[WTFH]

Two flies are playing football in a saucer. One says to the other, “Make an effort, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow.”

[vetran]

My boss called me into his office earlier:

"I've had a complaint, apparently you won't acknowledge our Welsh member of staff."

"That's right" I replied, "you know me, never say Dai."

[vetran]

Why did the feminist cross the road.

To complain about sexism to the men who were building it.

[vetran]

What does José Mourinho have in common with a stag night whore?

It doesn't matter whether he's in a hotel room or on a bench by the side of a field, he's still going to get ****ed by 11 blokes from a different town.

[vetran]

For MF

My son said, "I haven't got a clue what I want to do when I leave school."

I said, "What about a career in the catering industry like me."

He said, "Dad, you deliver ******* pizzas."

[vetran]

ouch

"Dad, I think I'm American. " said my slightly disturbed son.

"Whatever makes you think that? " I replied.

"I've just shot all my imaginary friends, " he answered.

[vetran]

I've stopped using 'Just for men' and I've just had to come to terms with the fact that my arse hairs are grey.

[vetran]

I have a phobia of trampolines..

I can't help it, they just always make me jump!