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Please put more jokes here

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    Bigamy: Having one wife too many


    Monogamy: See bigamy
    {emotionless greeting}

    Three Word Slogan

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      There are two types of people in this world: Those who you want to have a drink with and those who make you want a drink.
      {emotionless greeting}

      Three Word Slogan

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        Two flies are playing football in a saucer. One says to the other, “Make an effort, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow.”
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

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          My boss called me into his office earlier:

          "I've had a complaint, apparently you won't acknowledge our Welsh member of staff."

          "That's right" I replied, "you know me, never say Dai."
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Why did the feminist cross the road.

            To complain about sexism to the men who were building it.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              What does José Mourinho have in common with a stag night whore?

              It doesn't matter whether he's in a hotel room or on a bench by the side of a field, he's still going to get ****ed by 11 blokes from a different town.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                For MF

                My son said, "I haven't got a clue what I want to do when I leave school."

                I said, "What about a career in the catering industry like me."

                He said, "Dad, you deliver ******* pizzas."
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  ouch

                  "Dad, I think I'm American. " said my slightly disturbed son.

                  "Whatever makes you think that? " I replied.

                  "I've just shot all my imaginary friends, " he answered.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I've stopped using 'Just for men' and I've just had to come to terms with the fact that my arse hairs are grey.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I have a phobia of trampolines..

                      I can't help it, they just always make me jump!
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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