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Please put more jokes here

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    Scientists believed that they had come across the formula for happiness...

    That was until a woman entered the equation.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I went to a zoo the other day.
      The only animal in the whole place was a small dog.
      It was a sh!tzu.

      Last edited by b0redom; 23 September 2015, 10:13. Reason: Rubbish anti-swearing filters
      And the lord said unto John; "come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

      Comment


        "I've just heard Samatha Cameron is divorcing David."
        "On what grounds?"
        "Pigamy"
        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

        Comment


          Originally posted by vetran View Post
          "I've just heard Samantha Cameron is thinking about divorcing David."

          "On what grounds?"

          "Pigamy."

          Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
          "I've just heard Samatha Cameron is divorcing David."
          "On what grounds?"
          "Pigamy"
          The old ones are the best
          Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
          I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

          I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

          Comment


            Originally posted by SimonMac View Post
            The old ones are the best
            Indeed. The early bird catches the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

            Comment


              A Farmer in Yorkshire see's a bloke drinking from his stream & shouts,

              "Ey up cock! Tha dun wanna be drinkin watta frm theer,
              it's full o hoss piss an cow tulipe".

              The bloke says "I from london can you speak bit slower please".

              The Farmer replies "If - you -use - two - hands - you - won't - spill - any"!!!!!
              'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

              Comment


                Have you been mis-sold TDI?
                The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                Comment


                  Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
                  Have you been mis-sold TDI?
                  Subtle!
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    An Englishman walks into a Bar. There's usually a Scotsman, an Irishman, and a Welshman there too, but they are all still at the Rugby World Cup.
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
                      An Englishman walks into a Bar. There's usually a Scotsman, an Irishman, and a Welshman there too, but they are all still at the Rugby World Cup.
                      Nicked!

                      Comment

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