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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by ccole View Post
    I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
    Scraping the barrel a bit with that one :
    'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

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      I tried to sign up to a website the other day...

      I put the password as "BeefStew" but it said my password wasn't stroganoff.
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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        I don't know why people say I'm boring
        The police have just called me a "person of interest".
        “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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          This one is Huuuuuge. You'll laugh bigly at it...

          What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

          People are saying, I mean some people are saying that maybe Donald Trump has maybe never had a garbanzo bean on his face.
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

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            At breakfast this morning, my wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with Twitter.
            I almost choked on my #brown
            “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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              My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

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                Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

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                  Congratulations Whitney Houston; four years drug-free this week.
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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                    I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

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                      What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
                      It gets toad away.

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