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Please put more jokes here

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    My missus said " Why do you like me to give you a blow job so much"?

    I said " It's the only time I can get ten minutes of silence"!
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Sir Bradley Wiggins has retired.

      He won't have to cycle,to work anymore.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        For NLYUK

        That job-interview did not go well.

        Apparently being a part of a gang-bang is not proof that you work well in teams.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Proper tight

          My wife was moaning at me, saying I never take her out anywhere.
          I said " I only took you out just last week for tea and biscuits, don't be so ungrateful"
          She said " Yes I know, it cost me a pint of blood you bastard "!
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            eww

            What have George Michael and Ayrton Senna got in Common??

            They both died with Skid marks on their helmet.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              My wife slammed down her fists and cried "Why must you question everything I say!?"

              "Everything???" I replied
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Just had an argument with my vacuum cleaner.

                  I'm sure we will sort things out once the dust settles
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    My American flatmate is homesick, so I decided to make him feel more at home. I just shot him.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      "This is the eighth time I've caught you with your cock in the Frosties, what the **** is going on?!" screamed my wife.

                      "I'm sorry, love," I replied, "I'm a cereal rapist."
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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