Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

My missus said " Why do you like me to give you a blow job so much"?

I said " It's the only time I can get ten minutes of silence"!

[vetran]

Sir Bradley Wiggins has retired.

He won't have to cycle,to work anymore.

[vetran]

For NLYUK

That job-interview did not go well.

Apparently being a part of a gang-bang is not proof that you work well in teams.

[vetran]

Proper tight

My wife was moaning at me, saying I never take her out anywhere.
I said " I only took you out just last week for tea and biscuits, don't be so ungrateful"
She said " Yes I know, it cost me a pint of blood you bastard "!

[vetran]

eww

What have George Michael and Ayrton Senna got in Common??

They both died with Skid marks on their helmet.

[vetran]

My wife slammed down her fists and cried "Why must you question everything I say!?"

"Everything???" I replied

[vetran]

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

[vetran]

Just had an argument with my vacuum cleaner.

I'm sure we will sort things out once the dust settles

[vetran]

My American flatmate is homesick, so I decided to make him feel more at home. I just shot him.

[vetran]

"This is the eighth time I've caught you with your cock in the Frosties, what the **** is going on?!" screamed my wife.

"I'm sorry, love," I replied, "I'm a cereal rapist."