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Please put more jokes here

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  • LondonManc
    replied
    If we don't call the Indian Covid strain Vindaflu, is it even worth talking about it?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've been looking all over the Vagina Museum for my wife but I still can't find her.

    Last thing she said to me was, "I'm going to the clitoris exhibition."

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Panto quality !

    Working in a stem-cell research laboratory, I’ve just crossed a skunk with a goose, and now have a litter of six for sale.


    Warning: they don’t half honk.

    Leave a comment:


  • xoggoth
    replied
    I have a soft spot for the wife, it's a peat bog just outside Ardross.

    PS Found that while Googling "halfords windscreen wipers"

    ?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Who are the most optimistic people in the world ?

    People who eat Cadbury's chocolate , They're glass-and-a half full.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    What if porn had commercials. '" Don't bust that nut yet, we'll be right back after a short message about erectile dysfunction'".

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I'm in line for a promotion and huge pay rise at the Ministry of Defence where I work, after finally perfecting the invisibility suit.

    Well they think I have, I've just not turned up for three weeks.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Does anyone know what cockney rhyming slang used before Scooby-Doo came along because I haven't got a...

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Ariana Grande...
    A coffee from Starbucks that Millennials drink?

    Miley Cyrus...
    A Persian distance?

    Justin Beaver...
    A moment of Beastiality?

    Taylor Swift...
    A quick cloth cutter?

    Lady Gaga...
    A time of the month when a woman is extra crazy?

    Kanye West...
    A compass direction to spicy pepper?

    Kardashian...
    A Russian breed of speedy dog?

    Katy Perry...
    A wine for cats?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Today a man knocked on my door and asked a small donation for the local swimming pool.

    I gave him a glass of water.

    Leave a comment:

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