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Please put more jokes here

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    #4731
    Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond, but by the end you'll wish you had a club and a spade.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment

      #4732
      Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement, in the end you ignore it all, wait for the end and click "I agree"
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment

        #4733
        How many tourette's sufferer's does it twat to **** a lightbollocks?
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment

          #4734
          Short on time at Tesco? Park in a disabled bay. If anyone questions your disability, just shout "Tourette's! F**K OFF YOU T**T!"
          The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

          Comment

            #4735
            Get a sense of what public transport is like in every other city in Britain by visiting London during a tube strike
            “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

            Comment

              #4736
              My mobile went & I wasn't sure if it was going to be my mum or my girlfriend calling....

              Then I remembered I live in Norfolk.....
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment

                #4737
                Katie Hopkins has stated that Britain needs euthanasia vans as we have far too many old people.
                I agree, lets start with those who have inflicted the most misery upon us.

                Like Katie Hopkin's ******* parents
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                  #4738
                  An Irishwoman gave birth to triplets and named them Nat,Pat and Tat.

                  However when she tried to breastfeed them she found out there was no tit for Tat.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment

                    #4739
                    What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

                    Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                    Comment

                      #4740
                      Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
                      What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

                      Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
                      Omg lol. And you say I have no soul.
                      'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

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