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    My parents made a lot of sacrifices. You get used to it, being a druid.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      For MF

      Last night I startled the wife, I ran into the bedroom stark naked and said
      "Look at this love, two hundred and seventy pounds of dynamite!"


      She looked up and said " So I see, it's just a pity about your two inch fuse!"
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        What's grey and comes in pints?

        An elephant.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          My wife treats me like a God.......















          Every night at dinner, I get burnt offerings.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.
            She's 25, and her name's Kathy.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I used to really enjoy anal but these days it feels like I'm just going through the motions.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. I want to live forever I said, Sorry said the fairy, I am not allowed to grant wishes like that. Fine I said, I want to die when England win the World Cup, "You crafty bastard!" said the fairy.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  What do you call a man with no shins? Tony
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                  Comment


                    Two fellows are talking about their bosses upcoming wedding. "I don't get it, One says, "sure he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and shes just 26. What kind of wedding is that?" The other says, " well we have a name for it in my family".
                    " What do you call it?"
                    " We call it a football wedding."
                    " Whats a football wedding?"
                    " Shes waiting for him to kick off."
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Life just gets better as you get older does’nt it?

                      I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach
                      started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed
                      to fart.

                      The place was packed but the music was really
                      loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed
                      my farts to the beat of the music.

                      After a couple of songs
                      I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and
                      noticed that everyone was staring at me….

                      I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod
                      …….. and how was your day?

                      This is what happens when old people start using technology
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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