• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I love how music can take you to another place.

    For example, the pub I'm in are playing Ed Sheeran, so I'm off to another pub.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      After watching all 3 Matrix movies, I walked away feeling that they were completely unbelievable.

      As much time as they spent on computers, not once did Adobe ask to be updated.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        for MF

        I'm the best Elvis impersonator for miles around.

        I can't sing a note, but I had eight cheeseburgers for breakfast.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          You don't need to go to University to suffer massive expense and boring lectures hungover after late nights.

          Just get married.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            One about SAS

            My mate called me a retard yesterday.
            I was that shocked I nearly choked on my window.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              There's no point making puns with a kleptomaniac. They just take them, literally.
              "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

              Comment


                My girlfriend is leaving me because she's tired of my over-active imagination. Joke's on her, she doesn't even exist.
                “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                Comment


                  I stopped a bloke in the street and said, "Can you help me? I'm looking for a rubbish tip."

                  He replied, "Liverpool to win the Premiership."
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                  Comment


                    The English football team visited a Muslim orphanage today.

                    "It's so heartbreaking to see their sad faces, devoid of hope," said Ahmed, aged 7.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change."

                      Pound coin gag scoops best Edinburgh Fringe joke award - BBC News

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X