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Please put more jokes here

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    Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today. The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?"
    "Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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      .

      Had a ploughman's lunch & a shepherd's pie yesterday. Neither of them was particularly happy about it
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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        I’m rubbish with Roman Numerals until I get to 159 and then it just CLIX
        Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
        I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

        I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

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          My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I invade her privacy too often.
          At least that's what it says in her diary.
          “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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            Someone just came up to me, holding a beer, and claimed to be a ventriloquist. But I think it was the drink talking.
            “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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              How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

              Two. The real mystery is how they got in there in the first place
              I did a stroll around Windsor on 2 Oct for Alzheimer's Society. You can chuck me a few quid here if you like: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lmallen-1

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                As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way.
                I think, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me after all.
                “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                  I bought a book today called "Strange Coincidences". When I got home I found that I already had a copy. Weird.
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                  Comment


                    I remember when my dad took us to the Blackpool illuminations. He said "it's like the Blackpool illuminations here" & he switched them off.
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                      REPLICATE the transfer deadline day in your works canteen by panic-buying a pot noodle for £20, a minute before they close.
                      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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