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Please put more jokes here

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    My wife is like fine wine - not that she gets better with age, but I keep her in the cellar
    {emotionless greeting}

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      The Wife (tm) wrote me an email saying that she was concerned that we were having communications issues
      I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify
      She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we're not as connected as she'd like
      I tweeted her that I love her more than anything
      She texted me that she loves me too and was tired after a long day at work.
      I Facetimed her to say goodnight.
      She leaned over and kissed me.
      {emotionless greeting}

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        Brillo broke up with his most recent wife by email.
        I'm not sure what upset her more, the fact that he did it by email or the fact that he cc'd in his next wife, who had wanted proof.
        {emotionless greeting}

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          The barman says "we don't serve time travellers here."



          A time traveller walks into a bar.
          {emotionless greeting}

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            Cream and The Jam were due to gig in Cornwall. Plans fell through as they couldn't agree who should go on first.

            Doing a stroll around Windsor on 11 Sept 2 Oct for Alzheimer's Society. You can chuck me a few quid here if you like: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lmallen-1

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              Where is the capital of Zimbabwe?

              In a Swiss Bank account.....

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                Football news: Everton have at least two more seasons in the premiership

                Winter and Spring.
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                  I was driving home the other day when I got stuck behind a tractor. The driver was shouting out the window at passers-by:
                  "The world is going to end"
                  "The end is nigh"

                  It was Farmer Geddon
                  {emotionless greeting}

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                    This Saturday I'm going to record X-factor and watch it later. That way I can fast forward through all the crap bits and just watch the adverts
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                      Originally posted by ladymuck View Post
                      Cream and The Jam were due to gig for Devon and Cornwall councils . Plans fell through as they couldn't agree who should go on first.

                      FTFY
                      Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                      I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                      I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

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