A man was savagely attacked at The Teddy Bear's Picnic. His condition is said to be improving but he's not out of the woods yet.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain” -
Great day out in London but Network Rail are full of tulip.
A sign said if you stand too close to the edge of the platform you’d get sucked off.
Five ******** hours I was stood there.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
At the vet with the cat...
Cat: Meow
Me: I know, that’s why I brought you here.{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
Roman 1: You won’t believe how many women I have slept with
Roman 2: mmm...
Roman 1: Don’t be ridiculous, not that many.{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
Can anyone remember the name of that big bird on Sesame Street?{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
BP went for an interview for an office job today
The interviewer told him he'd start on £2k a month and then after 6 months he'd be on £3k a month.
BP told them he'd start in 6 months.{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
BP and the current incumbent went to a therapist due to problems in the bedroom.
"Explain with a film title what you think the problems are" the therapist said.
Mrs BP said "Gone in 60 seconds"
BP replied "Enter the dragon"
Her lawyers were seen at HR Owen ordering a new Phantom Drophead and have already secured the registration BP 0 4 MRS{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
Did you know that "emas eht yltcaxe" is exactly the same backwards?{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
I'm having a charity event for people that struggle to orgasm.
Let me know if you can't come.{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
My ambition as a child was to be a Blackjack dealer. Although I would sell Fruit Salads & Mojos as well.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- IR35 on the ground: Where SThree is seeing off-payroll compliance (with a little help from itself) Today 09:45
- IR35: A contractor's overview to personal service Today 09:30
- Labour Business vice-chair backs Single Enforcement Body and off-payroll rules reversal Yesterday 10:22
- Where Hunt's Brexit claims won't stack up to Brits longing to work abroad Yesterday 09:52
- Government signals Single Enforcement Body as dead in the water Feb 3 09:57
- Contractor MVL Solution from SFP Feb 2 15:41
- IR35: With secondary factors as his props, Stuart Barnes got over the line with 'in-business' Feb 2 10:25
- Contractors' Questions: Is an HMRC list some 15 years too late a remedy to Disguised Remuneration? Feb 2 09:37
- What Big Tech layoffs mean for the UK's IT contractors Feb 1 09:16
- Missed yesterday's tax deadline? Contractors, you should act now Feb 1 08:05
Comment