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    A man was savagely attacked at The Teddy Bear's Picnic. His condition is said to be improving but he's not out of the woods yet.
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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      Great day out in London but Network Rail are full of tulip.
      A sign said if you stand too close to the edge of the platform you’d get sucked off.
      Five ******** hours I was stood there.
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

      Comment


        At the vet with the cat...

        Cat: Meow

        Me: I know, that’s why I brought you here.
        …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

        Comment


          Roman 1: You won’t believe how many women I have slept with

          Roman 2: mmm...

          Roman 1: Don’t be ridiculous, not that many.
          …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

          Comment


            Can anyone remember the name of that big bird on Sesame Street?
            …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

            Comment


              BP went for an interview for an office job today

              The interviewer told him he'd start on £2k a month and then after 6 months he'd be on £3k a month.

              BP told them he'd start in 6 months.
              …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

              Comment


                BP and the current incumbent went to a therapist due to problems in the bedroom.

                "Explain with a film title what you think the problems are" the therapist said.

                Mrs BP said "Gone in 60 seconds"

                BP replied "Enter the dragon"

                Her lawyers were seen at HR Owen ordering a new Phantom Drophead and have already secured the registration BP 0 4 MRS
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                Comment


                  Did you know that "emas eht yltcaxe" is exactly the same backwards?
                  …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                  Comment


                    I'm having a charity event for people that struggle to orgasm.

                    Let me know if you can't come.
                    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                    Comment


                      My ambition as a child was to be a Blackjack dealer. Although I would sell Fruit Salads & Mojos as well.
                      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                      Comment

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