Please put more jokes here

[shaunbhoy]

We were enjoying our family holiday last week when my 12-year-old son said, "I wonder if the sea is cold, dad?"
"You're just about to find out," I laughed, picking him up and throwing him in."
"I can't believe you just did that," screamed my wife, as she stared at me in complete shock.
"It's okay," I replied, "He can swim."
"Where to?? We're on a bloody cruise ship!"

[WTFH]

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

It turns to daytrogen.

[WTFH]

I was watching The Apprentice last night.

Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.

[WTFH]

Actually, while watching it, I realised I’d be useless on it. They get a phone call in the morning saying that a taxi will pick them up in half an hour. I take at least 40 mins to have my first dump of the day.

[SueEllen]

I was watching The Apprentice last night.

Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.

Funny thing is Lord Sugar only was given a peerage to do something in politics relatively harmless, there as due to no such things in the US Trump stood and got elected as president.

[TheFaQQer]

I was watching The Apprentice last night.

Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.

I feel sorry for Lord Sugar - he advertises for a really good job and a load of f**kwits turn up for the interview.

[vetran]

I was watching The Apprentice last night.

Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.

he has! most of the applicants are fantasists or crap

[BrilloPad]

I feel sorry for Lord Sugar - he advertises for a really good job and a load of f**kwits turn up for the interview.

Really good people apply. And are all rejected. Only the f**kwits get to the final interview.

[Grasser73]

Elton John - brilliant on the piano but sucks on the organ.

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I've recently been diagnosed as colour blind. It came right out of the purple.

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[BrilloPad]

My local restaurant put poison on the menu.

They hope to kill a few fish lovers.