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Please put more jokes here

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    We were enjoying our family holiday last week when my 12-year-old son said, "I wonder if the sea is cold, dad?"
    "You're just about to find out," I laughed, picking him up and throwing him in."
    "I can't believe you just did that," screamed my wife, as she stared at me in complete shock.
    "It's okay," I replied, "He can swim."
    "Where to?? We're on a bloody cruise ship!"
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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      What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

      It turns to daytrogen.
      {emotionless greeting}

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        I was watching The Apprentice last night.

        Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.
        {emotionless greeting}

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          Actually, while watching it, I realised I’d be useless on it. They get a phone call in the morning saying that a taxi will pick them up in half an hour. I take at least 40 mins to have my first dump of the day.
          {emotionless greeting}

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            Originally posted by WTFH View Post
            I was watching The Apprentice last night.

            Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.
            Funny thing is Lord Sugar only was given a peerage to do something in politics relatively harmless, there as due to no such things in the US Trump stood and got elected as president.
            "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

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              Originally posted by WTFH View Post
              I was watching The Apprentice last night.

              Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.
              I feel sorry for Lord Sugar - he advertises for a really good job and a load of f**kwits turn up for the interview.
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                Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                I was watching The Apprentice last night.

                Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.
                he has! most of the applicants are fantasists or crap
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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                  Originally posted by TheFaQQer View Post
                  I feel sorry for Lord Sugar - he advertises for a really good job and a load of f**kwits turn up for the interview.
                  Really good people apply. And are all rejected. Only the f**kwits get to the final interview.

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                    Elton John - brilliant on the piano but sucks on the organ.

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                    I've recently been diagnosed as colour blind. It came right out of the purple.

                    -----

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                      My local restaurant put poison on the menu.

                      They hope to kill a few fish lovers.

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