Please put more jokes here
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  1. #5791

    Suffers Fools...Badly!

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    We were enjoying our family holiday last week when my 12-year-old son said, "I wonder if the sea is cold, dad?"
    "You're just about to find out," I laughed, picking him up and throwing him in."
    "I can't believe you just did that," screamed my wife, as she stared at me in complete shock.
    "It's okay," I replied, "He can swim."
    "Where to?? We're on a bloody cruise ship!"
    “Silence is Golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just plain suspicious"

  2. #5792

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

    It turns to daytrogen.
    Strong and Stable Moderation

  3. #5793

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    I was watching The Apprentice last night.

    Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.
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  4. #5794

    Prof Cunning @ Oxford Uni

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    Actually, while watching it, I realised I’d be useless on it. They get a phone call in the morning saying that a taxi will pick them up in half an hour. I take at least 40 mins to have my first dump of the day.
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  5. #5795

    I live on CUK

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    Quote Originally Posted by WTFH View Post
    I was watching The Apprentice last night.

    Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.
    Funny thing is Lord Sugar only was given a peerage to do something in politics relatively harmless, there as due to no such things in the US Trump stood and got elected as president.
    "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

  6. #5796

    Faqqed Off

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    Quote Originally Posted by WTFH View Post
    I was watching The Apprentice last night.

    Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.
    I feel sorry for Lord Sugar - he advertises for a really good job and a load of f**kwits turn up for the interview.
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  7. #5797

    I live on CUK

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    Quote Originally Posted by WTFH View Post
    I was watching The Apprentice last night.

    Lord Sugar needs to get an agency in, rather than wasting his own time interviewing 16 people. Maximum of 3, save yourself a lot of time and effort.
    he has! most of the applicants are fantasists or crap
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  8. #5798

    TripleIronDad

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFaQQer View Post
    I feel sorry for Lord Sugar - he advertises for a really good job and a load of f**kwits turn up for the interview.
    Really good people apply. And are all rejected. Only the f**kwits get to the final interview.
    I keep pushing forwards but they keep pushing me backwards. So I have new rules. 1. Don't feed the trolls you know they have no souls. 2. Don't respond to them they'll only post back back again. 3. Don't be their friend they'll only knife you in the back. I have new rules I count them.

  9. #5799

    Should post faster

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    Elton John - brilliant on the piano but sucks on the organ.

    ------

    I've recently been diagnosed as colour blind. It came right out of the purple.

    -----

  10. #5800

    TripleIronDad

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    My local restaurant put poison on the menu.

    They hope to kill a few fish lovers.
    I keep pushing forwards but they keep pushing me backwards. So I have new rules. 1. Don't feed the trolls you know they have no souls. 2. Don't respond to them they'll only post back back again. 3. Don't be their friend they'll only knife you in the back. I have new rules I count them.

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