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Please put more jokes here

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    I went to an online party last night. No one told me it was bring your own bottle.
    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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      After weeks of negativity, I see Boris has got positive news.
      {emotionless greeting}

      Three Word Slogan

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        https://twitter.com/RobertoFerdenzi/...38036967862272

        Doing a stroll around Windsor on 11 Sept 2 Oct for Alzheimer's Society. You can chuck me a few quid here if you like: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lmallen-1

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          Strange times. I put the bins out the other night and the whole street gave me a round of applause.

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            In honour of all delivery drivers, lets clap outside our house sometime between 9am and 6pm.

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              LM baked some rock cakes to take to the CUK meet up.

              She invited us to take our pick. Most choose hammer and chisel....

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                The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities.

                He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

                'There's a car being towed from the car park,' he shouted.

                'An ambulance just drove by!'

                'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out.

                'Matt's out on his bike and his mum is telling him off'

                'Looks as if the Sanders are going into full isolation!'

                'Jason has had his skate board taken off him

                After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!'

                Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed!

                Dad cautiously called out,
                'How do you know they're having sex?'

                'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar'.
                'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

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                  Kate McCann telling people to stay at home with loved ones is ironic. Suppose I fancy some tapas?

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                    The last time the world saw a virus this bad waswhen Jimmy Saville took his laptop to currys.

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                      COVID19. The longest something made in China has ever lasted.

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