No they eat out
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
Didn't understand that so had to Google. Mmmm!bloggoth
If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson) -
Comment
-
Two lawyers walk into a pub. They order a couple of drinks and take their sandwiches out of their briefcases and then they begin to eat them.
Seeing this, the angry publican exclaims, “Excuse me, but you can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”
The two lawyers look at each other, shrug their shoulders, and then exchange sandwiches.'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!
Comment
-
A MALE Santa? This is just WOKE GONE MADE!
It's Christmas EVE, not Christmas Steve.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
It was when my dad asked me to organise a surprise birthday party for my brother that I realised I wasn't the favourite twin.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
Comment
-
-
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*Comment
-
NLyUK drops off her dress to the dry cleaners
The lady says, "Come Again!"
NLyUK says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."Comment
-
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck! Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck! Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- How a buyer’s market in UK property for 2026 is contractors’ double-edge sword Feb 11 07:12
- Why PAYE overcharging by HMRC is every contractor’s problem Today 06:26
- Government unveils ‘Umbrella Company Regulations consultation’ Yesterday 05:55
- JSL rules ‘are HMRC’s way to make contractor umbrella company clients give a sh*t where their money goes’ Feb 8 07:42
- Contractors warned over HMRC charging £3.5 billion too much Feb 6 03:18
- Statutory Sick Pay (SSP) for umbrella company contractors: an April 2026 explainer Feb 5 07:19
- IR35: IT contractors ‘most concerned about off-payroll working rules’ Feb 4 07:11
- Labour’s near-silence on its employment status shakeup is telling, and disappointing Feb 3 07:47
- Business expenses: What IT contractors can and cannot claim from HMRC Jan 30 08:44
- April’s umbrella PAYE risk: how contractors’ end-clients are prepping Jan 29 05:45

Comment