Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

What's another way to say you came inside a woman...


Loading the washing machine

[vetran]

We got our dogs some glow in the dark dog treats.

You should see their little faeces light up.

[vetran]

People think politics is complicated and confusing, when in fact there is a very clear guideline to follow:

If it upsets Gary Lineker, you're on the right track

[vetran]

I identify as a male dyslexic and my pronouns are hee/himm.

[vetran]

I learnt how to deliver a baby today.
You have to tape up their mouths, so they don't make any noise, and make sure there's holes in the box, so they can breathe.

[vetran]

I came home to find an Amazon box on my doorstep.
A little voice suddenly said "what time do you call this? where have you been?"
It was a very suspicious package.

[vetran]

Can Joaquin Phoenix succeed in his new film role, "Napoleon"?

Corsican.

[vetran]

Look, I'm all for colouring books...

But dot-to-dot books?

That's where I draw the line.

[vetran]

Sunak appoints Cameron as Foreign Secretary


Pig fecking mistake

[vetran]

I identify as non-binary; my pronouns are off / on.