Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

The man Benjamin Zephaniah
His works didn?t fail to inspire
But his cancer ailment
Proved his final derailment
And here is his funeral pyre.

[vetran]

Zephaniah got the Bengal lancer
He searched for a cure, looked for an answer
Into bed he was tucked
And now he is ****ed
For his latest poem, get a necromancer

[vetran]

There's a secret to making Postman jokes

It's All In The Delivery

[vetran]

The TV licence man knocked at the door today.

I showed him my licence from 2003.

He said "This licence is twenty years old and out of date.

I said, "So are your programmes"

[vetran]

The wife rang me at work & said - "I've left you for a black man. He's witty, charming, considerate, generous & he pounds me all night with his Anaconda-like cock"


Bugger. But at least I know it's not Lenny Henry.

[vetran]

What do you call a hippo with one leg?

A hoppo

[vetran]

Just nipped into Sainsbury?s for a Christmas card, but spent 20 minutes in a queue at the self checkouts.

I ended up complaining to the staff about all the inconsiderate people using the Card Payment Only checkouts for their grocery shopping - they didn?t understand me?

[vetran]

I went to Cash Converters today trying to raise some much needed cash for Christmas.

They gave me £3200 and they never even took the gun.

[vetran]

Prince William stuns passers-by as he's spotted selling The Big Issue.

**** me, this cost of living crisis is getting ridiculous.

[vetran]

Bill Gates is trying to develop clean drinking water made from human waste.

The last time someone tried to make something drinkable from human waste.

We ended up with Foster's Lager...