I took my clarinet back to the music shop, "I don't know what it is, " I said, "I can only seem to be able to play one tune on it, Perfect Day, nothing else seems right or in tune. " "Let's have a look, " said the assistant as he dismantled my clarinet, "ha, there's the problem, looks like it was fitted with a Lou Reed. "
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
Trump claims immigrants are eating cats and dogs.
That's nothing, just wait until winter in the UK, pensioners will be eating Tiddles and Rex as well.Comment
-
Comment
-
really?Originally posted by vetran View PostWhat are the government giving the elderly this winter????
HyperthermiaHe who Hingeth aboot, Getteth Hee Haw. https://forums.contractoruk.com/core...ies/smokin.gifComment
-
I discovered a tiny space in a Scotsmans loft, where he was keeping whisky miniatures, I thought this is a little dram-attic.Comment
-
Oddly enough yes from their own calculations.Originally posted by sadkingbilly View Post
really?
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-b2609340.html
Cut to winter fuel payment could kill 4,000 people, Labour’s own research suggests
Analysis published by Labour in 2017 said plans to means test winter fuel payments would be the ‘single biggest attack on pensioners in a generation’Comment
-
Churchill: We shall fight them on the beaches!.
Thatcher: The lady's not for turning!.
Starmer: It was an honest mistake that I forgot to declare that a fat, gay Bengali millionaire pays for my wife's drawers!.Comment
-
He who Hingeth aboot, Getteth Hee Haw. https://forums.contractoruk.com/core...ies/smokin.gifComment
-
sorry missed that.Originally posted by sadkingbilly View Post
death by OVERheating? - really?
wawComment
-
This year I’m doing No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-November - where for the month of November I only listen to 2-Unlimited…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Why might an umbrella company fail to pay its total tax bill to HMRC? Aug 18 06:08
- Contractors, here are the late payment fixes that the Lords just turned down Aug 17 08:03
- How will HMRC's Direct Debit plan affect contractors paying VAT and PAYE? Aug 13 23:54
- HMRC's new 'reckless' tax offence: an IR35 game-changer for contractors? Aug 13 13:50
- “I’m not a Machiavellian overlord”: Adrian Sacco breaks his silence on the Contractor Loan Recalls Aug 13 06:50
- ‘Bounce back’ in IT contractor demand in July 2026, even if ‘one swallow doesn’t make a summer’ Aug 12 07:50
- Are fractional and interim CTO roles ripe for IT contractors? Aug 11 07:33
- Where is UK IT contractor demand heading before 2027? Aug 10 05:53
- Where is UK IT contractor demand heading before 2027? Aug 9 21:53
- Umbrella, PEO/GPP, or salaried EOR. Which is up 153% in 2026? Aug 6 08:43

Comment