Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

When I was younger,my body was a temple..... Now it's a flaming bouncy castle.

[vetran]

I heard aliens are gender neutral. They/them are out there.

[vetran]

Would you like me to spell condescending for you?

[vetran]

Would you like me to spell condescending for you?

[xoggoth]

One of the few jokes on Quora I found funny (being a rude old git)

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, 'It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.'
Another said, 'No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.'
The last one said,
'No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?'

[vetran]

I went to meet this bird i had found on Tinder. As I approached her house, she open the door in her negligée.

'That's a funny place to have a door!' I thought.

[vetran]

Although the 20mph speed limit was only introduced last year by Mark Drakeford, 2 per cent of potential visitors were put off by it.
The other 98% are put off by the Welsh.

[sadkingbilly]

thinking of Vetty:

Some people are like slinkys, totally pointless but the thought of pushing them down a flight of stairs never fails to put a smile on your face.

[sadkingbilly]

I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise....
My boss asked “what companies? “
Gas, water and electricity

[sadkingbilly]

My mate always turns his head slightly away from the printer when he's using it
Apparently he can only see it in his peripheral vision.