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Please put more jokes here

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    [ first day working at a pet store ]
    customer: can i see that fish bowl?
    me: sure let me get his shoes
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      My leg won't stop mooing.

      I think I've got a calf injury
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        There's a place in Yorkshire called Gammon. It only has 6 houses.

        It's a Hamlet
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          My job description when I'm on a date...
          "Yeah, I'm a Bean Counter for a Multinational Food Conglomerate worth
          26 billion US Dollars."
          My job description the rest of the time...
          "I do quality control at the local Heinz Factory."
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            I have 2 dogs called Rolex and Timex.

            They're watchdogs.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

              There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch
              …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

              Comment


                Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

                There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch
                He was running around the town then up a hill for tea he met his girlfriend there broke his cock!
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Me - You almost ready?

                  Wife - Just a few more minutes. What time do we have to be there?

                  Me - Yesterday at 7.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    I would much rather be served a round by a bartender than by Alec Baldwin.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                      I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

                      There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch
                      Can't help with that but do have one about a young man from Aberystwyth
                      When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

                      Comment

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