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Please put more jokes here

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    [ first day working at a pet store ]
    customer: can i see that fish bowl?
    me: sure let me get his shoes
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      My leg won't stop mooing.

      I think I've got a calf injury
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        There's a place in Yorkshire called Gammon. It only has 6 houses.

        It's a Hamlet
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          My job description when I'm on a date...
          "Yeah, I'm a Bean Counter for a Multinational Food Conglomerate worth
          26 billion US Dollars."
          My job description the rest of the time...
          "I do quality control at the local Heinz Factory."
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I have 2 dogs called Rolex and Timex.

            They're watchdogs.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

              There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

              Comment


                Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

                There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch
                He was running around the town then up a hill for tea he met his girlfriend there broke his cock!
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Me - You almost ready?

                  Wife - Just a few more minutes. What time do we have to be there?

                  Me - Yesterday at 7.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I would much rather be served a round by a bartender than by Alec Baldwin.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                      I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

                      There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch
                      Can't help with that but do have one about a young man from Aberystwyth
                      When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

                      Comment

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