Please put more jokes here

[NotAllThere]

If we don't call the Indian Covid strain Vindaflu, is it even worth talking about it?

Or Bat Vindaflu.

[vetran]

Do you know my cousin May?
No, but I'll bear it in mind.

Do you know my Victoria Wood?
No, but I'll bear it in mind.

Do you know Samuel Pepys?
No, but I'll bear it in mind. Next time in the changing room I'll wrap myself in a towel.

(Frank Skinner).

took me a moment!

[vetran]

Post-Brexit are The Eurhythmics just The Rhythmics?

[vetran]

A soldier in WWII was shot but coins in his pocket stopped the bullet.

It was his life savings.

[vetran]

A brave move by the government to get a roof over the heads of the countries homeless with food and drink available.

They must've thought Wetherspoons was never going to open again.

[vetran]

Of course Harry thinks the idea of free speech is bonkers. He's not even allowed to speak freely in his own house.

[vetran]

Co-incidence….I don’t think so.

The riots riots and ‘warfare’ in the 'Holy Land' were deliberately started by the Israeli's (with full co-operation from the Palestinians) as soon as it was announced, by the UK Government that UK holidaymakers were now free to travel there......better the enemy you know.

[vetran]

A shy bloke had an accident and had half his foot amputated. On his wedding night, the newly weds were staying at the bride’s mother’s house. It was the first time the bride had ever seen him naked and when she saw he had part of his foot missing, she let out a scream and a gasp.
Her mother on hearing the scream shouted “Is everything alright sweetheart?”
The bride shouted back, “He’s got one and a half feet!”
The mother called back “Ok luv, you come and do the washing up, I’ll take care of him”...

[vetran]

Ancient Egyptian babies didn't know that one day their daddy would be buried as a mummy. Neither did the Kardashians.

[vetran]

BBC News: Matt Hancock is urging anyone who is unsure about having a Covid jab to "look at the situation in Bolton". Not sure what unemployment and teenage pregnancy have got to do with the Covid vaccine?