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Please put more jokes here

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    Have you ever been hit with a rhythm stick ?

    If so you could be entitled to a personal Ian Dury claim.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      I was walking past a building site when a bucket full of plaster fell on someone.

      Poor bloke was rendered unconscious.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Sad news. My friend with a lisp has passed away. He will be miffed...
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Marks and Spencer has launched a new range of underwear 'inspired by the case of George Floyd', apparently.

          So I'm off to buy some with a fake twenty.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            There's a gap in the high street where there used to be a Gap in the high street.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              "Seamus...according to that Dermot fella with the funny surname, skin cancer is the biggest killer in Ireland."



              "Dermot who, Paddy?"




              "Dermot Ologist."
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Originally posted by BR14 View Post
                are you EVER going to post anything even mildly amusing??
                feel free to mark things you find funny or contribute.

                I collect the ones that make me laugh, sorry if your sense of humour is different.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I recently made a journey by taxi during a visit to London.

                  For the whole twenty minutes the driver rabbited on non-stop:

                  'They wanna bring back National Service if yer arsk me, teach these youngsters a bit of bladdy respect! Never did me any harm...
                  Tell you wot, all these bleedin' foreigners, they come over 'ere an' think they own the place! They ought ta send 'em all back where they came from...
                  It's high time they brought back the death penalty in this country. I'd pull the bladdy lever meself!'

                  I think it was one of those Hackneyed cabs.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    BREAKING NEWS:
                    The Prime Minister has stated that most COVID restrictions will be lifted on the 19th July and that he is relying on the common sense of the English public to stop the spread...

                    In that case, we're stuffed
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Panto

                      Meat pies cost in:
                      Dominica and Cuba - $3
                      Jamaica and Bahamas - $2.79 & Granada and Guatemala - $2.49

                      Pie Rates of the Caribbean.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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