Please put more jokes here

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Panto

Person A : What`s the coldest place you`ve ever been?
Person B: Norway, I think
Person A: And how about your wife?
Person B: Alaska.
Person A: Would you? I`m curious to know.

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Actress Olivia Williams claims Harvey Weinstein suggested a blow job would get her an Oscar.


Multi award winning Meryl Streep refused to comment.

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Traffic wardens, don't bother putting a penalty on Marcus Rashfords car if it's illegally parked.

He'll only miss it.

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My Dyslexic mate thought Dr Who was Chinese.
He read somewhere that he entered the Triads.

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Doctor.."I'm afraid it's bad news and more bad news."
Patient.."what's the bad news?"
Doctor.."you've lost half of both legs."
Patient.."could be worse, and what's the more bad news?"
Doctor.."It's the top half."

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My wife wants to go away and see different cultures from across the world.


Just booked her in a Travelodge in Bradford for the weekend.

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Whilst MPs furiously debate proposed cuts to the foreign aid budget I'd just like to chip in with my two penn'orth.

Stretched bulletproof German limos, new palaces, superyachts and Gulfstream jets for third-world dictators won't pay for themselves!

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It’s not all bad news for Rashford, Sancho and Saka.

Disney have said they’ve admired the gentleman’s penalty shots and would like to offer them all a role in the next Star Wars film as stormtroopers.

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Boris says he wants to stop people posting racism online ...

Pot calling kettle black ...ooops I've done it again

[vetran]

300 ticketless fans entered Wembley via a disabled entrance for England's Euro Final on Sunday.

When asked by the police how it happened, a steward said, "We honestly though they were genuinely disabled, as they were all wearing Spurs shirts"