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Please put more jokes here

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    Tragic news from the Nestle factory today as a worker was crushed to death under hundreds of boxes of chocolates.
    He tried in vain to get help but every time he shouted, "The milky bars are on me!!" --his fellow workmates just cheered
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      My girlfriends dog just died so I got her an identical one.

      Now she's got two dead dogs.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Sinéad O'Connor has offered to sing the Prince classic at Barry Chuckle's funeral.


        Nothing Compares 2 U 2 Me
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I tried to warn my now deceased son about the dangers of Russian Roulette.

          It went in one ear and out the other.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Funeral costs are so bloody expensive these days. At my mother-in-law's, after paying for the bouncy castle and pony rides, we could barely afford the face-painting.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I'm a Bit Worried! I attended a funeral today and caught the wreath!
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Today I saw someone waving but I wasn't sure if they were waving at me or someone behind me.

                I'm a terrible lifeguard.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  To anyone who has watched the Madeliene Mcann series.


                  Well done you have now spent more time watching her…
                  than her parents did.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    What do you call it if the mum dies during childbirth? Eternity leave
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      In today's news: 'Ryanair passenger dies of heart attack at 35,000ft in front of his grandchildren.'


                      He must've had a look at the price list for snacks.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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