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    Just found out my wife has been cheating.

    She's been using a marked deck.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      The guy who invented the Ferris Wheel never met the guy who invented the Carousel.




      They moved in different circles.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        "I want to go to the garden centre to get some of that stone for the flower beds" my wife said.

        "slate" I replied


        "No" she said, "they don't close till seven"
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          What's Afghanistan and a nuclear bomb got in common?


          When the Americans drop them its a someone else problem.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            8 out of 10 Cats finished in a draw today. It was a Dead-Lock
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              My wife left me because I kept bringing my work home with me.



              I suppose she had a point. I'm a gynaecologist.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                What do you call a tenor who's fooled by an inactive medical treatment?


                Placebo Domingo.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Rip Sean Lock, terrible news. I once met him out walking with Vinnie Jones on a narrow path through an old quarry, he was a lot bigger than me and ended up squashing me against big Vinnie , I was stuck between a lock and a hard face….,..
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Will Sean Lock's body be in a state of Rigor Mortice?
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      '...Do Starbucks employees take a tea break?'
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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