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Please put more jokes here

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    Lockdown is now so strict in Australia, Home and Away is now just called Home.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      The cast of 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown are stuck inside the studio with the door jammed.

      They can't undo the deadlock.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I only lasted 1 week as a lumberjack.

        I didn't make the cut so they gave me the axe.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I saw a plane full of bald men once. It was a receding Airline.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            "The eggs in this box have been laid by hens which have been allowed to roam freely"


            Never thought I'd be jealous of a chicken.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Viruses mutate over time, take Covid for example...


              It started as a pandemic, and now it's become an IQ test.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Do you think that the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, 'If you build it, they will come'.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Every time I collect food from the local pizzeria I can't help speaking in an Italian accent. I've got a disorder.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    My mate works as a back doctor in Egypt He's a Cairopractor
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Whatever you do, if you try to verify the news about OnlyFans banning explicit content, don't search for "OnlyFans explicit BBC".


                      I found that out the hard way.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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