Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

What did the police find when they dusted Chris Rock’s face?

Fresh prints.

[NotAllThere]

A large convoy of Russian armoured personnel carriers and tanks on the outskirts of Kyiv are moving along the road, when suddenly from behind a small hill they hear a voice shout: "One Ukrainian soldier is better than ten Russians!"

The Russian commander orders a halt and his ten best soldiers to go over the hill; a shooting begins, it lasts for a few minutes and stops.

Again a voice: "One Ukrainian soldier is better than 100 Russians!"

The Russian commander then sends 100 of his best soldiers. Shooting again, screams, ten minutes later silence.

The quiet Ukrainian shouts again: "One Ukrainian is better than 1,000 Russian soldiers!"

The Russian commander sends 1,000 of his fighters over the hill. The sounds of fighting, grenades, shots are heard. More screams - Silence. Suddenly, one seriously wounded Russian soldier crawls over the hill and the dying man begs his commander: "Don't send anyone over there. It's a trap.

There are two of them ..."

[vetran]

[vetran]

Hickory dickory dock!
My wife avoids my cock!
She's losing her hair
And having an affair
So I had to slap Chris Rock!

[vetran]

Alec Baldwin's wife is pregnant.


Evidence that he was not firing blanks.

[vetran]

Alec Baldwin and his wife are expecting a child.

If there's one thing he's good at, it's shooting into women.

[vetran]

"Bruce Willis' condition profoundly affects his ability to communicate"

That condition is known as 'Being American'

[vetran]

I was once engaged to a female baker, but I had to call it off.

She was too kneady.

[vetran]

What's the difference between Will Smith and my penis?

My penis sometimes has a mind of its own

[vetran]

WARNING:
This police car may contain flashing coppers