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Please put more jokes here

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    My wife said it's either her or the dog.

    So I've got to choose between a hairy, drooling mongrel with bad breath. . . or my beloved canine.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      me and my mate went to London to become sperm donors.

      It was a disaster!

      I missed the tube and my mate came on the bus
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Emmanuel Macron is using social media to clarify France's position on the Ukraine war.

        He's sounding the retweet.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          For Minestrone

          My wife said, "You're an alcoholic."

          "I'm not," I replied, "Alcoholics need a drink. I've got plenty here."
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            “Look Mr Darcy, that poor wretch of a dog has no testicles.”

            “Miss Bennet, my dear lady, that’s a bitch.”

            “You’re telling me. I bet he’s well pissed off”.
            {emotionless greeting}

            Three Word Slogan

            Comment


              One of our previous cats was actually named Douglas. Though after the operation he was called Doug-less.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Ukrainians remind me of Americans.

                Heavily armed and have trouble speaking English.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by vetran View Post
                  Ukrainians remind me of Americans.

                  Heavily armed and have trouble speaking English.
                  Your best yet.
                  Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                  Comment


                    Just read a TripAdvisor review on the Grammy Awards.

                    "Deeply disappointing, not what I'd hoped for at all."

                    W. Rooney, Cheshire
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Whenever I attempt mental arithmetic I end up with a nasty headache.
                      That always tends to be the aftermath.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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