There are 10 types of people: those who know binary, and those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a ternary joke.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
Apparently there is a documentary on TV about the G spot, but I can't find it..."If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar.Comment
-
I went into a pub and said to the guy serving, 'How much is a pint of lager?'
He replied, 'Five hundred and sixty-eight millilitres.'
Sarcastic barsteward."If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar.Comment
-
A mate of mine suffered a fatal heart attack after downing a dozen energy drinks.
Red Bull gives you wings..."If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar.Comment
-
My daughter's on the spectrum.
She wanted the latest iPad but I thought she should learn the way I did."If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar.Comment
-
Boris shouldn't let his mind wander.
It's too little to be let out alone."If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar.Comment
-
My energy supplier proudly boasts that they use 100% renewables. They sent my renewal quote.
Can anybody tell me what day it was, when wind doubled in price?."If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar.Comment
-
What does LGBTI+ stand for?
No one can give me a straight answer"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar.Comment
-
What's wrong with Channel 4?. They do an expose of the Jeremy Kyle show and don't call it:
Death on the Kyle."If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar.Comment
-
BREAKING NEWS:
I've got TWO weeks to live.
The wife's going away for a fortnight!"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I want to see the hand of history on his collar.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Capita's flimsy, unacceptable response to getting hacked won't calm contractor nerves Yesterday 08:20
- Contractors, UKRI's GBP36million in IR35 mistakes will make your private sector clients balk Jun 1 08:23
- Contractors who like saving tax won't want to miss HMRC's three-year winding-up window Jun 1 08:12
- 5 ways to stand out and succeed as a contractor May 31 07:30
- Top 10 tips for new contractors May 31 07:24
- UK Research & Innovation admits to GBP36million in IR35 off-payroll errors May 30 07:30
- A quick look for contractors at UKRI's GBP36million tax bill from HMRC for IR35 May 30 07:20
- Income protection vs critical illness cover for contractors May 26 08:33
- What is the difference between tax enquiry insurance and IR35 insurance? May 25 08:25
- Distinguish seven new avoidance schemes on HMRC's blacklist from similarly named firms, contractors urged May 25 08:15
Comment