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Please put more jokes here

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    Today I made a Burger from scratch.....
    My daughter won't eat any...she loved that cat.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Supermarkets. Do a deal on Kevin Bacon DVDs by giving away a Mr Kipling cake with each one.

      Call it Footloose & Fancy Free.
      {emotionless greeting}

      Three Word Slogan

      Comment


        My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records.

        but then the librarian asked me to take it out.
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

        Comment


          When I go camping, I tulip into a metal container, and recently I manufactured a lid for it with Vladimir's face on, to prevent spillages

          And so other campers know it's my poo tin
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            The Police wanted to know my whereabouts between 4 and 6.
            I said Primary School
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I questioned if it would dare be too much to suggest the 'West' takes the Lead on this one and backs down and lets Putin have the Ukraine as a buffer in his sphere-of-influence, so we don't get annihilated in Nuclear war, to say nothing of the crippling rise of petrol prices.

              "But then our leaders would 'lose face' and look foolish."

              "As opposed to how Boris the Clown looks already ?"
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I've started a dating app for farm animals, but to be honest I'm struggling to make hens meet.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Is this the joke thread?

                  Hmm. Summit been deleted. I may deleted this when I can be bothered.
                  Last edited by xoggoth; 9 March 2022, 17:23.
                  bloggoth

                  If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                  John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                  Comment


                    In his final high school exam, my Granddad got 7 C's
                    So he became a pirate.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Is it a coincidence that 18 American diplomats cancelled a trip to the Russian embassy on the same day McDonald's closed every restaurant?
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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